Jokes About Growing Old



Jokes About Growing Old:


My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.


Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.


How to prepare Tofu:

1. Throw it in the trash.

2. Grill a steak.


I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.


I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.


A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.


Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.


Senility has been a smooth transition for me.


Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?

Me neither.


I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.


I love being over 50. I learn something new every day.......and forget 5 others.


A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.


I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.


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