My Job Resume:

 
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack but I couldn't hack it so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried being a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it because it was a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a Muffler Factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a Chef, figuring it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was a Musician but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB.

 

 
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