My Job Resume:
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack but I couldn't hack it so they gave me the axe.
After that I tried being a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it because it was a sew-sew job.
Next I tried working in a Muffler Factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a Chef, figuring it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a Deli Worker but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB.
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