QUESTION AND ANSWER JOKES:
(Click on more more jokes to return to the main jokes page or main site to browse 70 topics ranging from exotic kaleidoscope designs to the strange world of lucid dreaming.)

 

HOW CAN YOU TELL WHEN POLITICIANS ARE LYING?
THEIR LIPS MOVE.

WHY DON'T CANNIBALS LIKE TO EAT CLOWNS?
THEY TASTE FUNNY.

WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?
DAM!

WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG?
POLAROID'S.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
A STICK.

WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
FROSTBITE.

WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A NERVOUS WRECK.

WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT HIM.

WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE?
BECAUSE IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF THE DOG.

WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
SANKA.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?
THE LOCATION OF THE DIRT BAG.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER?
A BAD GOLFER GOES: WHACK, DAMN. A BAD SKYDIVER GOES: DAMN, WHACK.

WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS?
SKEET.

WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP CLOP?
AN AMISH DRIVE-BY SHOOTING.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH TWO LEGS?
LEAN BEEF.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH NO LEGS?
GROUND BEEF.

 

 

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